Let’s get real for a second—your mind is powerful, magical, and creative. But sometimes... it lies. Not on purpose, of course. But our brains are wired to take shortcuts to keep us safe. These shortcuts are known as cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that seem logical but actually twist reality in unhelpful ways.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, anxious, guilty, or stuck in the same emotional patterns, cognitive distortions might be playing a role. The beautiful part? Once you become aware of them, you can take your power back.

Here are 15 common cognitive distortions, what they look like, and how to gently notice them in your own life:

🌑 1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking)

What it is: You see things as either a total success or a complete failure—no in-between.

Example: “I broke my diet by eating one cookie. I failed. I might as well eat the whole box.”

Why it matters: This type of thinking sets impossibly high standards and leaves no room for growth, flexibility, or self-compassion.

Notice it when: You use words like always, never, completely, or perfect. Life is rarely all-or-nothing—it’s mostly gray areas, learning curves, and small wins.

🎭 2. Mental Filtering

What it is: You zoom in on the negative and completely ignore the positive.

Example: You get 10 compliments and 1 critique—but you obsess only about the critique.

Why it matters: It makes you feel inadequate even when you're doing really well. Over time, this can crush your confidence.

Notice it when: You brush off praise or good moments with “It doesn’t count,” or when one bad moment clouds your entire day.

🌪 3. Overgeneralization

What it is: You take one small situation and apply it to everything.

Example: One job rejection turns into “I’ll never be successful.”

Why it matters: It tricks you into believing your future will always look like your past—and that’s just not true.

Notice it when: You hear yourself saying “always,” “never,” or “everyone.”

🕵️‍♀️ 4. Jumping to Conclusions

Two main versions of this one:

a) Mind Reading

Assuming you know what someone is thinking.
→ “They didn’t text back. They must hate me.”

b) Fortune Telling

Predicting the future—usually the worst-case scenario.
→ “This meeting will be a disaster. I just know it.”

Why it matters: You make decisions based on assumptions, not facts.

Notice it when: You feel certain about something—but you don’t actually have any evidence.

🔍 5. Magnification and Minimization

What it is: You blow up your flaws and shrink your strengths.

Example: You say “I’m so dumb” after a small mistake, but when you succeed you say, “It was just luck.”

Why it matters: You’ll always feel like you’re not enough—even when you’re doing amazing things.

Notice it when: You react strongly to small problems, or dismiss big accomplishments.

🌧 6. Catastrophizing

What it is: You immediately expect the worst.

Example: “I feel tired… what if I’m seriously ill?”

Why it matters: It fuels anxiety and stress, keeping you stuck in survival mode.

Notice it when: You hear yourself starting sentences with “What if…” followed by a scary story your brain is inventing.

💔 7. Emotional Reasoning

What it is: Believing your feelings are proof of truth.

Example: “I feel guilty, so I must have done something wrong.”
Or: “I feel scared, so something bad is going to happen.”

Why it matters: Emotions are important, but they’re not always accurate.

Notice it when: You treat your feelings as facts without questioning them.

🧾 8. Should Statements

What it is: You hold yourself (or others) to rigid expectations.

Example: “I should be stronger.” “They should understand what I need.”

Why it matters: “Shoulds” create guilt, pressure, and resentment.

Notice it when: You’re feeling tense or upset, and using words like should, must, or ought to.

🏷 9. Labeling (and Mislabeling)

What it is: You define yourself or others based on one event.

Example: “I forgot to call back. I’m a horrible friend.”

Why it matters: You reduce a whole human being to one moment or mistake. That’s unfair—and untrue.

Notice it when: You call yourself or others names like idiot, loser, failure.

🤦‍♀️ 10. Personalization

What it is: You blame yourself for things that aren’t fully your responsibility.

Example: Your friend cancels plans and you think, “It must be because of me.”

Why it matters: You carry weight that doesn’t belong to you.

Notice it when: You take things personally without considering other explanations.

🎛 11. Control Fallacies

Two types:

a) External Control:

“I can’t change anything. Life just happens to me.”

b) Internal Control:

“Everything bad is my fault. I should have prevented this.”

Why it matters: You either feel powerless—or overly responsible.

Notice it when: You either give up control or take on too much of it.

⚖️ 12. Fallacy of Fairness

What it is: Believing life should be fair—and feeling bitter when it’s not.

Example: “I work so hard—why do they get all the credit?”

Why it matters: Life isn’t always fair, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth showing up with love and effort.

Notice it when: You feel angry or resentful and hear yourself thinking “It’s just not fair.”

👉 13. Blaming

What it is: You assign all responsibility to someone else—or yourself.

Example: “If my parents were different, I wouldn’t be this way.”
Or: “If I were a better friend, they wouldn’t have left.”

Why it matters: It keeps you stuck in victimhood or shame, instead of healing.

Notice it when: You’re more focused on blame than on solutions.

🔄 14. Fallacy of Change

What it is: You believe others will change if you just push hard enough.

Example: “If I explain myself better, they’ll finally treat me right.”

Why it matters: You can’t force anyone to grow. You only have power over your response.

Notice it when: You’re putting more energy into changing others than supporting yourself.

🕊 15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

What it is: Believing that hard work or sacrifice will automatically be rewarded.

Example: “I’ve been so good—why isn’t my life better?”

Why it matters: Life doesn't always reward effort in the way we expect. Love, service, and healing are their own reward.

Notice it when: You feel unappreciated or disappointed after giving a lot.

💗 So... What Do We Do About All This?

If you notice one of these thoughts pop up, here’s a 4-step way to gently shift your mindset:

1. Pause and name it
   → “Oh, I’m catastrophizing right now.”

2. Question the thought
   → “Is this true? Do I have actual proof?”

3. Consider a kinder perspective
   → “What else could be going on?”

4. Respond with self-compassion
   → “It’s okay. I’m human. I’m doing my best.”

🌿 Final Thought

Cognitive distortions don’t make you broken—they make you human. We all fall into these traps sometimes. The key is to catch them with kindness, not judgment.

You are not your thoughts.
You are the one observing those thoughts.
And that means—you always have the power to choose again

💫 Bonus Calming Affirmation

You can print this, cut it out, or keep it on your phone as a daily reminder.

You can also close your eyes and repeat this three times while breathing deeply.

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What If the Answers You’re Seeking Are Hidden in a Past Life?

Sometimes the struggles we face—chronic anxiety, recurring dreams, even relationship patterns—aren’t rooted in this life at all. They may be echoes from a past life, waiting to be seen and understood.

Through Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT), you can access deeper wisdom from your Higher Self and begin to release what no longer serves you.

Curious to explore what's beneath the surface?

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With Light and Gratitude,
Tomoko